What do a hysterectomy, losing one of your best friends to a ridiculously stupid misunderstanding and walking on fire have in common?

The first answer is that they all happened to me in the last 3 months. Another answer is that they all have the potential to be extremely painful, leaving lasting scars. Finally, the one you’d think would be the most painful was the least painful, and the one that you’d think was the least painful ended up being the most painful.

My hysterectomy was painful but the constant pain I was in before I had it done was worse. It’s a big relief not to be in constant physical pain anymore… at least in my uterus.

While recovering from my surgery, during my hormonal insanity phase, one of my dearest friends decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. Honestly, I never could have imagined how painful that could be. Way more painful than a hysterectomy, but I could only guess it wouldn’t be as painful as walking on fire. I was wrong!

I went to a spiritual retreat in an attempt to heal all of me and I walked on fire! That’s right, I walked on 6 feet of 1,200-degree, red-hot, burning coals. We were told NOT to look at the coals while walking across and NOT to look at our feet for 24 hours. We were to keep our eyes on the “catchers,” the people at the end of the coals waiting to catch you and help you step into a bucket of water. It felt like walking on a soft warm cushion of cotton balls, didn’t hurt one bit! My athlete’s foot was completely healed and the experience changed the way I see life. First of all, I will never buy cream for athlete’s foot! Walking on fire is much cheaper and works immediately! *** Disclaimer – I hope I don’t have to actually say “Don’t try this at home!” Fire-walking is NOT approved by the FDA to treat foot fungus! ***

Seriously though, if I can walk on fire without getting burned, I can do anything I choose! Except bring my uterus back and heal my friendship and that is the part that really hurts. There are things in life over which we have no control. There are lessons we are meant to learn and we each have a destiny. I don’t mean pre-destination, but rather, a purpose. We can choose to follow our purpose joyfully, we can go kicking and screaming, or we can ignore our purpose all together. I am sure there are people that do just that. I have often imagined people, after they have died, standing at the “pearly gates” and when Saint Peter goes over their life, they let out a loud, Homer Simpson-esque “DOH!”

As we go through life, and encounter difficulties and initiations, we are forever changed. And change can either wreck us or help us evolve spiritually, emotionally and mentally. When you walk through fire, there is no going back, and there is definitely no stopping in the middle. That is when it’s critical to keep your eyes on God, much like I had to keep my eyes on my “catchers.”

Let me be clear; keeping my eyes on God isn’t always easy and it takes discipline and practice. But no matter what your spiritual path is, you can use the teachings to help keep you focused. Meditation is very effective, but not just silent meditation, it must be contemplative in nature and bring you closer to your heart. When we come from love in our hearts, we make better choices and feel better about ourselves and our lives.

Try this exercise: Take a deep breath and acknowledge exactly how you feel, then shift your focus to a very strong memory that connects you to love and your heart. Make sure you really feel it in your body. Breathe that love into your heart and out of your solar plexus. That’s right, I said blow it out your solar plexus! Do this for a few minutes, then re-examine how you feel. Coming from your “heart intelligence” will give you an entirely different perspective on any issue you may be dealing with. Try it! I’d love to hear your experiences.