Have you ever been on the verge of success and then totally sabotaged yourself? Some people say it’s a fear of success, others say it’s a fear of failure. I say it’s a fear of living life to the fullest.
Over the course of my life, I have had many opportunities to co-create and become God’s greatest expression of myself. As I have stood at the precipice of that greatness, without fail, I allow something, someone or some event to come along and knock me so far back that it seems I am further behind than when I started.
As I have stated in other posts, when I was a teen, my ultimate dream was to sing. I had the opportunity to perform in many large venues with my stepfather, Peter Marshall, who, by the way, is a great singer. Anyway, after he and my mom separated, he started dating a gal who was also a singer. There wasn’t room for the both us on stage. Since I was my mother’s daughter, Peter’s new gal didn’t want me around, so I got the axe. That was the first time that I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, when a swift kick in the teeth sent me tumbling into that place where dreams don’t come true. I wouldn’t sing again for years.
On my way back to the top of the mountain, I found a new way to be God’s greatest expression of my self; to write a book helping skeptics find their way to a spiritual path. My writing partner was the skeptic and I was the spiritual teacher, and things with the book were going great. As I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, the relationship with my writing partner shattered into a million pieces, and I found myself once again tumbling into that place where dreams don’t come true. I let go of the book, giving all rights to her.
Have you ever felt this way? Like you’re about to achieve your goals, or your dreams are about to come true, and then BAM! You’re back to square one.
I have always taken those kinds of experiences and said, “Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Maybe it wasn’t, but did I learn from those experiences? Yes, I learned never to partner with a crazy skeptic because you can’t trust them. Oh, and I also learned that just because your stepfather’s latest fling replaces you in a duet, that doesn’t mean she’s a better singer and you should stop singing. But if I learned what I was supposed to learn…then why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?
It happened again this last week. I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, when I was kicked in the teeth by very self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. Except this time I faced them head on and confronted them. And this time I wasn’t knocked backward, I was knocked forward. I finally got it! First and foremost, I am responsible for the circumstances in which I find myself. Second and probably most importantly, all of the sideshows that happen as I am trying to make my dreams come true are simply distractions.
[**Jesus Alert** Do not panic, I am about to reference Jesus. Please note: I believe that the parables, stories and symbols in the Bible hold amazing teachings, and that the Bible is not necessarily meant to be taken literally. So please don’t let the reference turn you off.]
Jesus said, “The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single [eye on God], thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil [meaning ‘the absence of God], thy body also is full of darkness.”
What I take from this is simple. If I keep my eye on God (Spirit, Higher Power or whatever you want to call it), I will have all the light I need to find my way through any darkness or distraction. But if I look closely at my distractions, and give them unwarranted attention, I will find myself tumbling down the mountain and will be consumed by the darkness where dreams don’t come true.
This time I choose to keep mine eye single. I choose light!
If you find yourself distracted and are in a situation where your success is in the balance…keep thine eye single. Choose light and leave the darkness behind.
