Driven to Distraction!

Have you ever been on the verge of success and then totally sabotaged yourself? Some people say it’s a fear of success, others say it’s a fear of failure. I say it’s a fear of living life to the fullest.

Over the course of my life, I have had many opportunities to co-create and become God’s greatest expression of myself. As I have stood at the precipice of that greatness, without fail, I allow something, someone or some event to come along and knock me so far back that it seems I am further behind than when I started.

As I have stated in other posts, when I was a teen, my ultimate dream was to sing. I had the opportunity to perform in many large venues with my stepfather, Peter Marshall, who, by the way, is a great singer. Anyway, after he and my mom separated, he started dating a gal who was also a singer. There wasn’t room for the both us on stage. Since I was my mother’s daughter, Peter’s new gal didn’t want me around, so I got the axe. That was the first time that I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, when a swift kick in the teeth sent me tumbling into that place where dreams don’t come true. I wouldn’t sing again for years.

On my way back to the top of the mountain, I found a new way to be God’s greatest expression of my self; to write a book helping skeptics find their way to a spiritual path. My writing partner was the skeptic and I was the spiritual teacher, and things with the book were going great. As I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, the relationship with my writing partner shattered into a million pieces, and I found myself once again tumbling into that place where dreams don’t come true. I let go of the book, giving all rights to her.

Have you ever felt this way? Like you’re about to achieve your goals, or your dreams are about to come true, and then BAM! You’re back to square one.

I have always taken those kinds of experiences and said, “Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Maybe it wasn’t, but did I learn from those experiences? Yes, I learned never to partner with a crazy skeptic because you can’t trust them. Oh, and I also learned that just because your stepfather’s latest fling replaces you in a duet, that doesn’t mean she’s a better singer and you should stop singing. But if I learned what I was supposed to learn…then why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?

It happened again this last week. I stood at the mountaintop with a clear vision of my future, when I was kicked in the teeth by very self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. Except this time I faced them head on and confronted them. And this time I wasn’t knocked backward, I was knocked forward. I finally got it! First and foremost, I am responsible for the circumstances in which I find myself. Second and probably most importantly, all of the sideshows that happen as I am trying to make my dreams come true are simply distractions.

[**Jesus Alert** Do not panic, I am about to reference Jesus. Please note: I believe that the parables, stories and symbols in the Bible hold amazing teachings, and that the Bible is not necessarily meant to be taken literally. So please don’t let the reference turn you off.]

Jesus said, “The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single [eye on God], thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil [meaning ‘the absence of God], thy body also is full of darkness.”

What I take from this is simple. If I keep my eye on God (Spirit, Higher Power or whatever you want to call it), I will have all the light I need to find my way through any darkness or distraction. But if I look closely at my distractions, and give them unwarranted attention, I will find myself tumbling down the mountain and will be consumed by the darkness where dreams don’t come true.

This time I choose to keep mine eye single. I choose light!

If you find yourself distracted and are in a situation where your success is in the balance…keep thine eye single. Choose light and leave the darkness behind.

My Near Death Experience!

I have been thinking a lot about death lately. I recently completed hospice training and it was an awe-inspiring experience that brought me to the realization that my life’s work is death and helping people understand what death can teach us about living.

I had a near death experience a few days ago. I was walking down the stone steps in the picture on the left, I wasn’t in the proper shoes and I slipped. My feet went out from under me so fast. One second I was standing there watching my family by a beautiful river and the next thing I knew, I was eating leaves. In truth, this was but a mere “life’s most embarrassing moment,” not an actual NDE (near death experience), but replace those leaves, that cushioned my head, with rocks and this piece becomes my obituary, not a humorous little spiritual piece on my blog.

I was lucky. I walked away with a bruise on my hip, an achy right arm and shoulder and a very bruised ego. Thankfully, my family will always have a ridiculous image of me lying on the steps plucking leaves out of my hair rather than the alternative.

So what did I learn from this? First of all, always choose your footwear wisely. Seriously, life can change and even be over in an instant. And do you really want to die in the wrong shoes?

Metaphysically speaking, the right side of the body (the side that I injured) represents doing or taking action. My feet (the part of me that faltered) represent my understandings. When I clearly understand what I am supposed to be doing and ignore or choose to take the wrong action, I am sure to lose my footing and get hurt.

Life is too short to let fear of falling on my face or fear of getting hurt, stop me from knowing and living my purpose. You may be wondering, “What is my purpose?” It’s really quite simple. We all are given a set of gifts and experiences that we are meant to master. When we learn, understand and combine our gifts with our experiences, we are then able to help others heal and evolve. Knowledge plus experience equals wisdom.

I can look at my life and know what Spirit wants me to do by looking at the gifts I have (the gift of gab and a gifted voice), combine them with the knowledge I have gleaned from my life experience (which includes having to repeatedly deal with death, loss and overcoming a fear of singing in public) and voila, there is my purpose. To use my voice in all of its capacity to help people grieve, understand death and as a result, live life to the fullest.

What are your gifts? What has your life experience taught you? If you combine your gifts with your life experience, what is your purpose?

Don’t wait to get knocked on your ass before you start living the life you were meant to live. The trick is to put one foot in front of the other. Just make sure both feet are in the right shoes and on your path!

Tune in next week to learn how to overcome your fears.

Her Holiness, the Dolly Lama

I have often said that before I found God I found Dolly Parton. I’ve mostly said it tongue-in-cheek, but when I examine my teen years, she really saved me. While all my peers and I were in teenage angst, they were doing drugs, doing each other and getting into anything and everything. I, on the other hand, was doing Dolly… wait, that didn’t come out right. I was getting into anything and everything Dolly… oh, I’m not so sure that sounds good, either.

Let me start over. I was 13 when I got my first Dolly Parton album titled “Here You Come Again.” That album changed the course of my life. Her music lifted me up, she inspired me and the music gave me a focus. That year I started the first of twenty-five years of vocal training.

As most of you know, my stepfather is Peter Marshall, host of the original “Hollywood Squares.” When I was 13 he arranged for me to meet Dolly. I was fortunate enough to develop a fairly good connection with her. My relationship with Dolly gave me the strength to believe in myself. If I could forge a friendship with a person as special, kind and BUSY as Dolly, there was probably nothing I couldn’t do. I learned that if I had a dream, and was willing to take a chance on making that dream come true, it would.

When I found God, the course of my life changed again. What I mean by that is, that I found in me, the Divine spark that lives in each of us. After many losses, false starts, and failures, I learned that inspiration has to come from within. The focus for me has to be on Spirit. If I can forge a relationship with Spirit, there is nothing I can’t do.

I think that’s what I saw in Dolly. She is so deeply connected to that Divine spark in herself that there is nothing she can’t do. Except maybe wear a size 32 A bra. No amount of inspiration could make that happen. I digress.

To this day, the sound of Dolly’s voice, her incredible spirit, just makes me smile from the inside out. I love this song. It says it all.




If you have a dream, let yourself be inspired by Spirit. Connect with the Divine in you and be willing to take a chance on making that dream come true, and it will.

Out With the Old…?

Nearly ten years ago, I co-created a television show (that got optioned but never sold) about a woman in her forties going back to college. The lead character wanted the full college experience, which included living in the dorms and rushing a sorority. The production company made us change her age because they felt it was too far-fetched for a forty-something woman.

As usual, Hollywood was wrong!

Next week, I, Gabrielle Michel, a forty-two-year-old woman, am going back to college to get my BA in Religious, Spiritual and Holistic Studies. While most of the program is done online, I will be attending a nine-day residency in Vermont where, yep, you guessed it - I will be staying in the dorms. Not once, but two times per year.

I remember a story of someone saying they couldn’t possibly go back to college to fulfill a dream because they would be fifty years old by the time they finished the four-year program and graduate. A wise person said, “You’ll be fifty in four years anyway, you might as well be fifty with a degree.”

It’s never too late to follow a dream, to finish a project, to go back to school, to meet someone and fall in love, etc. I can hear the “yeah, buts” already. Yeah, but I’m too old, young, poor, rich, tall, short and so on. Well, you might as well be too old, young, poor, rich, tall, short and happy, right?

So my wish for all of you in 2009 is that you not only dream big, but that all of your dreams come true.

Happy New Year.

Where have I been?

It seems like I haven’t written in forever. So much has happened in my world and in our world, I hardly know where to begin. So, I’ll start with me, because it is all about me, after all.

My favorite grandma, Marcella, made her transition last month (for those of you who don’t speak metaphysics, “made her transition” means “died”). She was ninety-four, it’s not like it wasn’t expected, except it totally caught me by surprise. There is something so final about death that even when you know it’s coming, somehow it still blindsides you.

My sorrow temporarily silenced my voice. Not only did my writing stop but, I actually got laryngitis. While my voice heals, I thought I might share some of my grandma’s writing with you. She was a wonderful writer and artist with great sense of humor, and I have found a lot of comfort in her poetry and short stories. The first poem is:

Distraction
The antics of a fly
On the window pane
Made me miss the sunset.

- Marcella Krisel

I love that! First of all, it’s a true story. She really was watching the sunset when she noticed a fly cleaning itself. She couldn’t take her eyes of this fly flicking its legs and wings, and when it flew away she realized she’d missed the sunset.

This funny little poem has such a profound spiritual lesson. Often in life we are so focused on the little annoyances that we miss the bigger more important things. Then we blame those annoyances for “making” us miss out on something wonderful. But it’s our choice. We choose what will get our focus. That is a bit of wisdom for which I can thank my grandmother. I would have said, “That’s a bit of wisdom that I can thank my grandma for,” but Grandma would’ve come back and haunted me with proper grammar. I tried to come up with the scariest font. Can you hear the mad laughter in the background? Mwuuhuhaaa Haaa Haaaaa!

Let me leave you with this…

I am invited to play
With a Ouija Board.
My partner and I
Place our hands lightly
On the little skate
And we get it started
By gently pushing it
In a circular motion.
We continue to help it
In this manner
Until it begins to write
By itself, it seems.
Suddenly it will take off
And spell out a long sentence
Very quickly, as if it is afraid
That one of us might
Try to interfere.

When I sit down to write,
Something very similar happens.
I have a feeling I want to express
And I begin cautiously
Trying to put into words,
When, right in the middle
Or perhaps toward the end,
The pen takes over
And completes the poem
In a totally unexpected way,
But always in a better one
Than I had envisioned.

- Marcella Krisel

I love and miss you, Grandma. Let’s stay in touch, okay?

Why Did the Turtle Cross the Road?

Why did the turtle cross the road? Why, two days later, did the turkey eat acorns on the side of the road? And why did the Monarch butterfly circle around my head for more than a few minutes?

These questions have haunted me all week long. Why you ask? Because I actually got an answer: to bring me a spiritual message. I know, you’re thinking, “Wow, does Gaby actually think the entire world and the animal kingdom revolve around her?” Why yes, I do. In fact, the American Indian Shamans do, too (see, it’s not just ME). They believe that animals, insects, birds and reptiles are messengers from Spirit. The messages they bring are based on the behaviors, characteristics and habits of the creature that crosses your path.

How do I know what I am receiving is a message, and not a matter of a cigar is just a cigar, turtle, turkey and Monarch? I believe there are no accidents. I have lived here over a year and have never seen a turtle cross a street. I have also never seen a turkey wandering around a busy highway next to Target. While I have seen butterflies, I have not seen many Monarchs because they are rare. They don’t usually fly around me, and even my neighbor, who witnessed it, thought it was pretty wild that it kept swooping around my head.

So what does all this mean? Let’s just look at the obvious. The turtle was trying to get somewhere slowly, patiently plodding his course. He wasn’t afraid because he has his shell to retreat to. I stopped my car and picked him up and hurried him to the side of the road so he wouldn’t get run over. As I picked him up, he looked at me like “HEY, watta ya doin’?”

The message for me is that I need to slow down. I also need to go within to do deeper spiritual work. I need to trust that I will get to my destination and not try to force things.

Thank you, turtle!

The turkey was a little more complicated, because the obvious was that Spirit was calling me a turkey, and I did not appreciate that. So I dug a little deeper and researched it further. Turkeys eat five pounds of acorns a day. Acorns represent wisdom and turkeys represent the harvest season. What this means to me is that I am gathering wisdom and I am coming into a time of reaping the rewards of what I have been working on. Either that, or someone’s going to stuff and eat me at the end of November.

Thank you, turkey!

Finally, the Monarch butterfly… which represents metamorphosis. The keys to creating and manifesting are in the stages of metamorphosis. When we are growing and transforming, we are in one of these stages: the idea is born, then we gather what we need to lay a foundation to build upon. Once we have a strong foundation, we go within, and while it may look like nothing is happening, beliefs are reorganizing. When we have transformed enough to make our idea a reality, we bust out and begin to soar.

When you feel like nothing is happening in your life, check to see if you are in the reorganizing stage.

Maybe lots of things are happening and you just can’t see it. And maybe sometime very soon, you will bust out and begin soar.

Thank you, butterfly!

So look around you… there may be little messengers trying to bring YOU spiritual messages.

Conversation With God

I was talking to God the other day about how to succeed, and believe it or not, I got an answer. It wasn’t an external booming voice. There was no lightning or thunder. The words just gently dropped into my meditative open mind.

“You must make a sacrifice.”

Since I was fresh out of lambs and had recently given up sugar, I asked, “What would you have me give up in order to have more success in my life?”

“Television,” God replied. “No TV five days a week.”

I panicked! “But it’s football season, and “America’s Got Talent” is down to the final ten, never mind the fall season is starting. Only two days… is that two full days? Can I Tivo 48 hours of shows and watch them all?!”

Then I realized I was trying to negotiate more television time with God! God was essentially telling me I could have guaranteed success - all I had to do was cut down my TV watching to two days a week and use that time to be more creative and productive.

In metaphysical teachings, the topic of sacrifice is generally avoided. This “feel good” spirituality, in my ever so humble opinion, is why so many people struggle with success in some aspect of their lives, be it career, relationship, finances, etc. We all have dreams and we all want to be successful, but when it comes down to giving something up in order to make that happen, we usually don’t want to. Behind every successful person is a significant sacrifice.

[**Jesus Alert** Don’t panic, I am about to reference Jesus. Please note: I believe that the parables, stories and symbols in the Bible hold amazing teachings, and that the Bible is not necessarily meant to be taken literally. I also believe that you and I can read the same passage and receive two completely different messages, and both interpretations can be correct. So please don’t let the reference turn you off.]

I digress.

When Jesus was gathering his disciples, he told them to drop everything, leave their old lives behind and follow him. Metaphysically speaking, that means that if we want real fulfillment in our lives, we must be willing to drop our old ways (because clearly they aren’t working) and follow Spirit (whatever form that takes for you).

So I am giving up TV five days a week and using my time for spiritual and creative endeavors. I’ll let you know how it goes. So far, I’ve started this blog and am writing an article for a local women’s magazine.

In the meantime, ask yourself two questions. What part of your life isn’t what you would call “successful?” And what do you have to sacrifice in order to have success in that part of your life? If you sit with those questions, you will get your answer. It may not be immediate, but you will definitely get an answer. When you do, I hope you realize that you are worth far more than any sacrifice you are asked to make.

Godspeed!